*A little forewarning: This is my personal story. I'm not writing this to bring down formula feeding mothers. I'm not trying to brag or rub in any mothers face how successful I've been. I'm writing this as a celebration of six months of exclusive breastfeeding. A celebration of my determination, my belief in my son's instinctual need for nourishment from my breast. And as a celebration for women everywhere who can do with their bodies what nature intended. Please don't take offense because that is not my intention.*
There is so much to say about breastfeeding and I’m not
quite sure where to start so I guess I’ll start with me. I had it all planned
out, I would go into labor on or around my due date, give a natural, vaginal birth, delay
the cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin and a successful latch, because you know, that’s how every birth
should go. Man, was I in for a rude awakening!
I go in on a Saturday morning
for an induction at 42 weeks and 1 day. I didn't give birth until Monday morning at 3:15 am. You can read the details of my birth story here. What transpired after that really still hurts me to this day and I don't know if I'll ever get over it. So there I was, already beat down from my less than perfect induction, sad that I couldn't see my baby for 3 hours(nicu rules), but I was ready to see him and breastfeed him. Ready to do the one thing I knew I could do. No doctor or nurse was going to dissuade me from doing what I had read about and prepared for since the beginning of my pregnancy. Well they did.
I didn't want Henry to have pacifiers or formula. No nipple confusion or bottle preference to hamper an already difficult endeavor. Well, after the first visit to try breastfeeding him a nurse explained to me, in more or less words, "if we don't give him a pacifier he'll be left to cry until they can get to him". Well I already can't be with my baby 24/7 so fine, give him the pacifier so he doesn't have to cry for someone's attention.
After that hurdle Henry began to latch, and for longer than just a few minutes at a time. So there I was, a few hours after giving birth walking back and forth from the nicu and my postpartum room every three hours to feed him. I overslept. By 45 minutes. A nicu nurse comes to my room to scold me and tell me how Henry is hungry and they aren't allowed to give him any formula because I said not to. I felt awful. Why couldn't she come get me after 5 minutes? For God's sake I just had a baby a few hours before, I'm exhausted and my body hurts. So she convinced me to "rest" and let them take over the night feedings and I could come back in the morning well rested.
The next morning I head to the nicu rested and ready to nurse my baby. I walk in set up our little station and bring Henry to my breast to latch. He latches for a second and begins to cry. I try again and again. Still crying and no latch. My heart was breaking. My baby had given up on breastfeeding but I wasn't giving up on him. I knew he could do it because he had done so well before. So I give him the bottle.
Upon returning to my room, feeling defeated but not giving up I began to pump. I pumped for about 30 minutes before each feeding and what little colostrum I could get I would give to my son after offering the breast but before giving the formula. This continued the rest of our stay. They sent me home with about 8 cases of the individual liquid formula bottles. "Just in case", as if they didn't believe I could get him back to breast. After all that I had been through, this was the one thing that was totally in my control and I wasn't going to give up.
On the fifth day of his life my milk finally came in. All of the pumping I did in the hospital made me so engorged. My breast were so swollen, armpit to armpit. and I was in so much pain. I wasn't giving up though. I sent Eli to the store for cabbage to relieve some of the swelling. As soon as we got home from the hospital we laid in bed skin-to-skin, and we nursed as much as he would allow. As often as he wanted. When I felt he wasn't latching I was giving him formula for a medicine dropper. It felt like forever but he was completely back to breast within just a couple of days.
Those first three weeks were brutal, the next three were a little better and by three months we were old pro's! Henry is such a natural nurser now.
Once you can get though the initial pain of finding the correct latch their is no pain. If it hurts then there is something wrong, whether it is a latch issue, flat or inverted nipples, tongue and/or lip tie etc. These issues can all be corrected and worked through. Medically diagnosed low supply can be boosted though a special diet. It's never too late for relactation either if that's what you want to do. There is so much you can do if you just hold on to hope.
We have been going six months strong with no end in sight. I have been extremely lucky with Henry. I've never had mastitis, supply issues, any latch problems, I have a great support system from my husband, my family and even my friends. You would be surprised that some of my best friends are people I've never met in person but they have the same views as me on a lot of things including breastfeeding and extended breast feeding. Initially I knew I wanted to breastfeed but I didn't know there were benefits past the age of one.
Well there are a ton! And America seem to be one of a few countries in such a rush to wean. Why? The natural weaning age averages at 4.2 years, so why is the mother of a toddler nursling whispered about? Told he/she is too "old" to nurse. They need "real" food. You're going to give your baby psychological problems. Who decides this? Certainly not science. And in a world obsessed with sex, sexualizing everything from advertising, clothing, to our children why oh why is breastfeeding, the most natural thing we can do, criticized?
Maybe if everyone, doctors, nurses, parents, grand parents, siblings friends and strangers could be a little more supportive, a smile and a head nod instead of a scowl and a few choice rude words. You don't know the struggles of any mother, breastfeeding or formula feeding alike. So please understand that this is a critical time for any mother and nursing child. Don't criticize her and make yourself look like an ignorant fool. Don't ask her to leave, cover up, or go to the bathroom. She is not feeding her child to make you happy at the same she is not trying to make a statement. She's only doing what nature intended and responding to her child's needs.
Thanks to everyone who reads this. Feel free to share my story to your friends on Facebook, pinterest, or follow the rest of our story on Instagram. The more we can change people's perspective on breastfeeding the more normal it becomes.
I want to thank everyone in my life that has supported me. Especially my husband. Eli is so kind, when I'm feeling weak he reminds me I am strong. When I feel like giving up he reminds me how far I've come. We were destined for each other since day one and I couldn't imagine any other life for me than to be his wife and the mother of our child and future children.
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| My very first NIP(Nursing in public) |
